This seems to be my life perpetually. I am moving to a new apartment...again. This time in a less ghetto neighborhood where hopefully cars aren't stolen for joy rides that end up totaled in someones house. I am excited to be closer to work and things that allow for social interaction...like bars. This will be the fourth place in 3 months that I have lived. Nothing too new.
I am SO ready for 2009 to be over. Little more than a week to go. This year has been tumultuous and one of great emotional strain and doubt. I am also excited that days will be longer after the solstice so perhaps I will no longer want to off myself or sleep half of my day away.
Things are hard. Money is tight. I generally feel afraid and vulnerable these days. I have little to fall back on and there is increased pressure to lay the ground work for the rest of my life. I want to be able to give more to others. Right now, it is a struggle to just care for myself. I want to be in something secure, which I'm sure is no surprise in a situation like this. I want a relationship, career, and family life. I want a community again. It is always difficult moving to a new place. Our lives get segmented and it can be difficult to expand our social group. I hope I don't get caught in that cycle. That is what I fear.
I have been looking to mind-numbing entertainment in the form of these sites: http://perezhilton.com/ & http://imagechan.com/. I think it is winter depression, my mind cannot focus and I can't seem to get out of bed. I hope this doesn't become the norm.
There is a lot to look forward to in 2010. I will hear from the Fulbright committee and potentially be in Belgium or in graduate school within the year. Or I may not be accepted anywhere and be stuck in retail. Who knows what can happen. I sure didn't know I would be moving back here the beginning of last year!
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